Chapter 7 Discusson #2

There have been many instances where I have used selective attention while listening to conversations. From previous experience, I realized it was kind of rude to not really listen to particular things my friends were saying, since it was not a subject of interest. Recently in a small group conversation with classmates, they would talk about motorcycles, cars, and motor sports. Those were topics I was not interested in, since I did not know much about it. When they talked about class work or entertainment, I would pay more attention in the conversation. I would join in, and talk about the current happenings in American popular culture. I found out I lose focus when my classmates talked about a subject I am unfamiliar with. As the transition into school or movie related topics, my attention span increases tenfold.
A way I was able to overcome this was to make an effort in listening attentively in their conversation on motor sports. I would start asking them basic questions, like “what is the best motorcycle, what is the best car?” I was able to learn about the differences between driving a car and a motorcycle. There was also a television channel called Fuel TV where they showed all types of motor races around the world, which I found fascinating. From asking questions and fully listening, I was able to expand my interests on new things.

Discussion #2 on four phases of listening

I believe the first phase, which is sensing, is the one I found to be most difficult. It happened about a month ago when I was meeting an old friend from Canada. We have not met since about ten years ago, so it was nice to meet her again. My Canadian friend and I used to talk about anything like sports, cars, and movies. Since we have not talked for a long period, it was quite difficult to develop a solid conversation. My friend was majoring in business, so she talked about the current economic situation in Canada the whole time. Unfortunately, I don’t know too much about business at all. During the whole time, I was just nodding or saying “oh” after each of her statements. I thought it was kind of boring to listen to her talk about business. I did not really pay attention, and thought about something else. It was bad to be tuning her out, so I decided to give short agreement responses. When she was talking about sports and cars, I would give her selective attention. Those topics were my interests as well, which saved the conversation.
This situation could have been overcome if I would listen more attentively to her. It does not matter if I did not know too much about it. The best thing would to ask questions to her about things I was not able to grasp. This might show her that I am actually listening, and am interested in learning about the state of Canada’s economics. By sensing the message, it will make the conversation flow more smoothly.

Week 9 discussion on interesting concept

Pick one concept from the assigned reading, that has not already been discussed during this discussion week,that you found useful or interesting, and discuss it.

A concept I found interesting in this chapter is a person’s motivation in listening. In being a better listener, the individual needs to have great motivation. By listening attentively, he or she will gain a better understanding of another person’s thoughts. As a result, this helps one find the right solutions to particular problems. There also is the possibility of accomplishing goals and gaining individual satisfaction for doing a great job. In the book, it states that listening is a crucial skill for successful business leaders to have. Unfortunately, most employees mention their managers don’t listen to the ideas they bring up. When this happens, they might think the manager is tuning them out and does not care about their opinions. This may leave the employer unsatisfied with his job, and make him not willing to speak to the boss again. This might lead to a lack of motivation for the worker to put forth the effort in his profession.
In any situation, it is preferable to try one’s best to listen to whatever the speaker says. There are many rewards like forming new friendships, learning something new, appreciate conversations, and avoid making errors. For example, in a school environment, whoever listens attentively usually gets good grades. If a student refuses to listen, he or she might not understand significant course material. By concentrating in lectures, the student has the motivation to maintain a high G.P.A, and make an effort to graduate from college as soon as possible. Most importantly, having the motivation to listen will have great benefits in the long run in one’s career.

Discussion Post on Proxemics and Chronomics

Proxemics is the way people use space in communication or in various other situations. In a business or sports setting, managers can use space whichever they want. If an employee makes a mistake, the manager might be letting them know their errors at a close distance. Fiery head coaches like Bobby Knight would get up into his player’s face and yell at him. If it is a fellow employee, it would not be right to stand so close to him/her while providing an explanation. When meeting someone for the first time, it is common for many people to be a few feet from each other while having a conversation. Once you get to know him/her better, they become more comfortable in talking at a closer space. If I am looking for a seat in the movie theaters, I leave a space from strangers when sitting. When the theater is pretty crowded, I have no choice but to sit next to the unfamiliar person. It totally depends on the person’s job position, familiarity and situation.
Chronimics is how people use their time. In most cultures people are particular in being on time at a job or meeting. Obviously when people are late, the manager becomes disappointed. When someone makes a habit of it, a higher authority might fire you. If one is constantly late to class, the professor will dock your grade. For a small group meeting, it would be inconsiderate to be late all the time. Other members might now show it, but they would fell truly disappointed. Coming from a Chinese family, my parents are pretty lenient when it comes to time. They don’t really fret when someone is even half an hour late to a gathering. It is a chance to have a great time, so the essence of being on time is not a big deal. I usually call a group member 15-20 minutes before the meeting letting them know I will be late. Even when meeting friends, I use the same course of action.

Disussion Post Number 2

Return to the eight principles of nonverbal communication. Pick two principles, and provide new examples of how they operate in a group or team.

One of the principles of nonverbal communication is the quality of relationships is first established by nonverbal actions. From nonverbal cues, people can tell if how we feel about certain things. If a manager asks you to do something and you just nod, he or she may think that is considered rude. I learned this the hard way on the first day at my new job. The manager was giving me an introduction, but I just nodded my head. He started getting frustrated and told me to stop doing that. I understood his message, and stopped doing that from then on. It was very disrespectful of me to nod as it did not show I was really paying attention to what he said. A part of me was nervous, so I resorted to that type of behavior. By saying “yes mam” or sir, it shows that you are focused and have the passion to do your job. Another bad former habit of mine was when I try to avoid saying “hi” to people I recognize in public places. They may think that I am inconsiderate by not greeting them politely. In fact, I am just shy whenever I see classmates in public venues. They might also think that I dislike them since I am showing a nonverbal message of avoidance.
Another principle in nonverbal communication is “our interpretations of participants’ behaviors are guided by context and power relationships (p.114).” In the three major sports of basketball, football, and baseball you often see teammates patting each other in their back sides as a symbol of support. For a business setting, it is inappropriate to do that specific action. A lot of people may believe that it is odd in a work place or even at a school. It is better to hi five, fist bump, or even offer words of encouragement to a co worker. In most work environments, people don’t like to be touched in any way. These types of nonverbal actions highly depend on the situation or setting. If it was me, I would prefer the high fives or supportive words as it shows that someone is really there for you.

Question 3 for this week's discussion

​A concept I found really interesting in the chapter was humor. Working on a group project or presentation can be pretty stressful. There are time constraints, disagreements, and arguments during the group process. It is always nice to have some humor involved to relieve possible tension and inevitable stress. Usually, it takes an individual’s mind off all the pressure of getting things done a certain way. When someone tells a funny joke, everyone feels relieved and relaxed from working long hours. It makes people think that not everything needs to be taken seriously. Humor also helps the group move forward whenever they are stuck on a particular task. Most importantly, it does not hurt to laugh every once in a while, especially during stressful times.

In my experience in group projects, there were always jokes involved. There were times where I thought it was very distracting and wasted our group time. Back then, I was mainly focused on getting the assignment done the right way and turned in on time. It was bad of me to not listen to someone’s joke. I later understood that humor was a significant part of group work. It helped me relieve all the stress and nerves in working on an important project. I noticed that humor certainly helped bring the group closer together and allowed all of us to be more open.